“You have created a monster.”My sister shrieked into the phone. “There are naked butts plastered all over my wall. Mother has gone too far this time. I am just going to have to ‘unfriend’ her. You need to do something.”
I agreed with my sister. Our mother was out of control. I avoided face book. I dreaded opening my email. I was tired of seeing “Nellie Myers posted on your wall” three dozen times a day.
My mom was very lonely after daddy died. I had read that most widows still considered themselves to be married after losing their husbands but not our mother. She had started calling herself single before rigormortis had set in. I had encouraged her to join a senior singles group. This was great for a while. She was even elected president.
Things were fine until she started dating Frank. He had stolen her heart when he drove up in his red, ragtop Mustang. She dreamed of diamond rings and trips to exotic places. When she started describing their first kiss at the park, I had put my hands over my ears and cried “Too much Information.”We soon learned that Frank was no good. He had a string of women a mile long. Mother was devastated. When she bought a gun, I became concerned.
I encouraged her to get a computer. I was thinking about online recipes, medical cures and email. When she joined face book I was glad. She was delighted with each new ‘friend’ she gained. Surely she couldn’t get in trouble on face book.
The problem started when she forwarded a cartoon to my cousin Debbie.
“Aunt Nellie this is hilarious. Where do you find this stuff?”Debbie had bragged.
Mama was craving that attention. My 72 year old mother became obsessed. She made it her mission in life to bombard all her face book friends with as much humor as she could find. Soon it didn’t matter if it was funny. If she thought it would be of interest to you, she posted it on your wall.
I quickly opened my face book page to see why my sister was upset. Sure enough there were naked butts lined across the stage, in the corner was a small boy walking behind the outdoor stage. Mom had written “Don’t this look like Little Stevie?”
When an older lady at my sister’s church saw the picture, she had gone to the pastor to have my brother-in law Steve thrown off the deacon board. No wonder my sister was so upset.
I questioned Mother about the picture. “Would you want your preacher to see that picture on your wall” I reasoned. She had not even noticed the naked women. Her attention had been on the little boy who looked like her grandson.
“But it does look like Little Stevie.” She defended herself. “I didn’t say it was Little Stevie.”
“Mama you are going to have to be more careful with what you put on people’s wall.” I scolded. “You know Kim blocked you because of all those Obama jokes you posted.” I knew mother meant no harm. She had voted for Obama.
Soon we stopped getting any posts from our mother. This was even more annoying than those irritating posts. What was our mother up to now? “You better go check on her. “My sister begged. We knew she was up to something. I stopped by her house that Saturday night. I wondered whose car was parked in her driveway.
When I went in the backdoor I heard my mama giggle. “Hello” I called. Mama rushed into the kitchen looking like the cat that had swallowed the canary. I glanced over her shoulder and was shocked to see her guest. It was her preacher. Her widowed preacher sat there with a big grin on his face. What were they giggling about?
“He saw the picture.” She explained.
Oh well. I thought, if the preacher can’t keep her out of trouble, who can? I gave my mother a big hug and walked back out the door.
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