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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Download/Upload (11/17/11)

TITLE: Through the Cracks
By Michelle Meyers
11/27/11


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His shoulders slouched
Beneath the weight
Head down

He felt put down,
Beat on, humiliated
At home

You’re no good,
Stupid, lazy
Worthless

All of his 15 years,
A ceaseless flow
Of criticism

Heartfelt, soul-felt
Defeating
His spirit

It weighed him down
A load to crush him
A download

For 6 hours
On week days he
Felt encouraged

Capable, smart
Work hard
You can do it

We appreciate you,
Glad you are here
You can do anything

He thought maybe
He could do
Anything, sometimes

It made him feel good
Lighter in spirit
An upload

Could an equilibrium
Be reached, the good
Offset the bad?

Would the upload
Cancel out the
Download?

Might he be lifted?
To reach his
Potential?

To discover and
Realize his God-given
Talents?

Or would he slip
Through the cracks
The download too much

Unable to find
Enough hope
To try


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This article has been read 218 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Benjamin Graber12/01/11
I like the ending; it feels like a good, strong closing to your poem.
I would suggest you add a little more imagery to this poem. A few more metaphors would add more "flavor" to the poem.
Great job! Keep up the good work!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 12/01/11
This is really intense. I know there are so many people who feel they have no hope. My heart hurt for your MC.
Nancy Bucca 12/01/11
This poem really grabs you when you read it. It's well worded, with good rhythm. Excellent message.
Hiram Claudio12/05/11
A very well constructed and powerful piece! It really did keep me reading, wanting to see more of this MC's journey. I do agree that expanding the imagery in a few spots might have spiced it up an bit.

The ending was wonderful. Thanks for a blessed piece of writing!
Nancy Bucca 12/15/11
Congratulations on winning first place!
Kelvin Fowler12/15/11
Good to see another poet taking the honours. Well done on your first place.
CD Swanson 12/16/11
Congratulations on your first place win! It was a wonderful story...God Bless~
Lu-Yee Millar12/16/11
Congrats! Thanks for reminding us to look out for our teens and offer them that bit of extra encouragement...that they don't slip through the cracks.
Michelle Meyers12/17/11
Thank you for all the encouraging and kind comments. Being a part of Faithwriters is definitely helping me to improve my writing.