The Official Writing Challenge
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I like the ending; it feels like a good, strong closing to your poem.
I would suggest you add a little more imagery to this poem. A few more metaphors would add more "flavor" to the poem.
Great job! Keep up the good work!
This is really intense. I know there are so many people who feel they have no hope. My heart hurt for your MC.
12/01/11
This poem really grabs you when you read it. It's well worded, with good rhythm. Excellent message.
12/05/11
A very well constructed and powerful piece! It really did keep me reading, wanting to see more of this MC's journey. I do agree that expanding the imagery in a few spots might have spiced it up an bit.

The ending was wonderful. Thanks for a blessed piece of writing!
12/15/11
Congratulations on winning first place!
12/15/11
Good to see another poet taking the honours. Well done on your first place.
12/16/11
Congratulations on your first place win! It was a wonderful story...God Bless~
12/16/11
Congrats! Thanks for reminding us to look out for our teens and offer them that bit of extra encouragement...that they don't slip through the cracks.
Thank you for all the encouraging and kind comments. Being a part of Faithwriters is definitely helping me to improve my writing.