The Official Writing Challenge
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You did a lovely job telling a story while incorporating a poem in it. You had a great start that made me want to keep reading.

The biggest thing I noticed is that you didn't use a single comma. You had many complex sentences, with different types of structure. When using a clause like With hot fresh tears flowing down her cheeks
make sure you put a comma after cheeks.

I enjoyed the ending and thought your message is a great one. There have been several times when I felt despair and God sought me out.
11/04/11
I enjoyed reading this and was encouraged by it...thanks for sharing it...
11/04/11
I enjoyed reading this and was encouraged by it...thanks for sharing it...
Once again we see how God can use us as His writers (and readers). He speaks in so many genres, doesn't He?
Good job.
You brought me in quickly by raising my curiosity of why such sadness.

I was running out of breath while reading this; do not forget to punctuate.
11/06/11
You are a gifted writer. Nice flow and wonderful choice of words.

I agree with the punctuation comments, which made it a little difficult to read.

"Starring" should be "staring".

Nice beginning and great ending. Great Job. :)
11/08/11
This was beautiful in so many ways. The message, the clarity of the meaning, and the heart filled entries.

Great job- I applaud you. I never see anything but the messages brought forward in each entry. And, this one had a beautiful one.

God Bless~
11/11/11
Great message and a beautiful poem. Great job.
11/13/11
This beautiful story really hits the topic on the head. I love the message it contains. Great job!
11/17/11
Congrats on your HR Placing... Nice Job.

God Bless~