The Official Writing Challenge
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I think this is a good story. I really liked your story and thought you did a nice job showing the girls' characters.

My only suggestion might be to go into more details about your characters.

The ending was good. I liked how you didn't tie it up into a neat bow. Life doesn't always have happy endings.
Oh another thing, I didn't see your title the first time. Be careful not to give your ending away with your title. I struggle myself with coming up with clever titles so I understand how difficult it can be.
11/04/11
Not everyone will accept the gospel message...this kept me interested...good writing...God bless you and keep shining for Jesus...
I was drawn into this story and you gave great imagery; I felt like I was at the next locker over-hearing thirds conversation.

One suggestion, check on the placement of commas. In The first paragraph, I had to read it a couple times to understand it.
I was drawn into this story and you gave great imagery; I felt like I was at the next locker over-hearing thirds conversation.

One suggestion, check on the placement of commas. In The first paragraph, I had to read it a couple times to understand it.
11/08/11
Nice job- I really was pulled into this interesting story. Fantastic message-She planted the seeds-that is all we can do sometimes as Christians.

Keep up the good work.
God Bless~
11/10/11
You write very well. The story felt very real and I could picture standing there watching the various scenes unfold. Nice work!
11/11/11
The story was great, but I agree that it would have been just a little better if we didn't know the outcome until the end. Great way to handle the subject.
11/13/11
I enjoyed the dialogue and the way you worked the topic into this story. For some reason the ending seemed a bit abrupt; I was hoping to see that perhaps the pictures on the blog had made an impact on Hanna. Nevertheless, the ending did reflect her overall attitude as well as the fact that no matter how you try to reach some people, they can be quite stubborn.