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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)

TITLE: The Discovery
By Rhonda Ritenour
10/19/11


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Lucy was overcome with gratitude as she watched Ryan work his magic on the computer. “I can’t believe you’re doing this for me.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t done it before, Lucy. Didn’t you know you could look for your real parents online?”

“I heard it was possible, but I didn’t have the time or emotional strength to begin the process. I’m thankful you were willing to come over today and help me research.”

“No problem, I’m just glad you’re finally getting around to this. It’s still unbelievable to me that Steve and Dorrie aren’t your real parents. You look just like them.”

“I know. If you think it was a shock to you, what do you think it was for me? To find out after twenty-one years that everything I thought to be true in the world isn’t, and that I’m are no longer who I thought I was.”

“I can’t imagine what you must have felt.” Ryan shifted in his chair. His brows knit together. “In the three months since you discovered you were adopted, you made some hasty decisions. You said you didn’t feel like you belonged with Steve and Dorrie anymore but, feelings aside, do you think moving into this dingy apartment was the smartest idea?”

Lucy bristled. She didn’t want Ryan questioning her judgment. “So far, so good. My landlords are great. Dick checks in on me at least once a week and Jewel brings me lots of goodies, especially oatmeal raisin cookies … I still can’t figure out how she learned they are my absolute favorites.”

“That’s good to hear. Now, let’s re-focus. So far I’ve been able to find your adoptive parents in this search. Where’s the rest of the information with the details about where you were born and which adoption agency was used?”

“I have that right here. Just give me a sec.” Right away, Lucy’s hands began to shake as she searched for the needed documents.

“Don’t worry, Lucy. This will all work out. I just know it.”

He always knows exactly what to say, thought Lucy. And so handsome … No, don’t allow yourself to go there, Lucy. He’s been a great friend and you don’t want to spoil it. Besides, you have more pressing matters that need your attention right now.

“This is going to be quite a process. I’ll probably have to take all this information, talk to some other people I know that are good at this kind of research and get back to you in a few days, okay?”

With that, Lucy’s wayward thoughts were abruptly brought back to the issue at hand.

“Sure, no problem! I’m just thankful you’re willing to do this for me, Ryan. You are a true friend.”

“I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“So, do you think all of this will help me get that date you’ve been avoiding for the past year?”

“Is this bribery? I promise, I am praying about it. It just hasn’t been good timing lately.”

Though her friend’s shoulders fell, he nodded. “I understand. I really do.”

“Thanks Ryan. I’ll talk to you soon.”

------------

“Hey, Lucy. I’ve got great news. I’ve found your real parents! I’ll be over in five minutes.”

With that, Ryan’s voicemail ended and Lucy’s heart began to pound. It seemed that in the blink of an eye, her whole world was about to be turned upside down. Or right side up.

Lucy heard a knock. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. There stood Jewel, with her usual stack of oatmeal raisin cookies. With a sigh of relief, Lucy gave Jewel an enormous hug and pulled her into the room.

“Am I relieved to see you! I thought you were Ryan. He’s bringing some news that could change my life forever and I could use your support.”

“All right, dear. I can stick around.”

With the next knock, Lucy hesitated opening the door, filled with apprehension of what was to come. As she cracked the door, Ryan bounded into the room, intent on reaching the computer.

Without a word, he pulled up chairs for both Lucy and Jewel. Tapping his fingers, he waited for the surprising information to appear on the screen.

As the information appeared, Jewel gasped, “I can’t believe it … ”

“Jewel, are you okay? You don’t look so … Ryan, does that say what I think it says?”

“That it does. Lucy, meet your mother.”


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This article has been read 254 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Brenda Tucker10/20/11
I don't like the thought of looking for parents on search engines.
Corinne Mann 10/20/11
This is a marvelous story of someone attempting to find her biological roots. I though you did a great job writing this heartfelt piece.

Keep writing! God bless!
CD Swanson 10/22/11
Good job of keeping on topic, and bringing forward a wonderful story at the same time.

I liked this. God Bless~
Beth LaBuff 10/22/11
I enjoyed your story and figuring out the clues you left, like the oatmeal raisin cookies. This warms the heart.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/26/11
This is an interesting story. You were right on topic. It was a tad predictable. As soon as you mentioned the landlord, I knew they were going to be her parents. The favorite cookie was the give away. Some of the dialog didn't feel natural. Try to use more casual language in the dialog. It was a sweet story and an excellent example of the way God works.
Linda Goergen10/26/11
Great story that brought out so many mixed feelings for me. I felt very sorry for the adoptive parents in this story. How hard it would have to be to love and nurture a child as your own and then have them walk away from you when they found out they were adopted. I couldn’t understand how Lucy could just suddenly reject that bond of love. And for me the clue of the cookies didn't give away the birth parents, I actually thought the cookies were being supplied to the landlord by the adoptive mother, still trying to love and care for her child. And how could the birth mother have known what kind of cookies a baby she gave up would grow up to love.

Lucy kind of aggravated me and I found it hard to bond with her in a likable way! LOL She seemed selfish by outright rejecting her adoptive parents, she seemed to be stringing Ryan along for some unknown reason and when Ryan was trying to point out obvious truths to her, she didn’t want him “questioning her judgments!”

I kind of felt sorry for the landlord at the end too, finding out that way, face to face with no choice in if she wanted it known. And I think this story opened up something to ponder. I do think adoptive children have a right to know their heritage, but the birth parents should have some privacy rights too I would think; and it made me wonder if it really is so easy to find that type of information out on the net. I don’t know, we only have one adopted person in my family, a cousin and he never wanted to find out about his birth parents.

But in saying all that, you undoubtedly did a great job bringing your characters to life for me to have powerful feelings toward and for them! LOL You certainly were on topic and I really enjoyed the read! Great job!
Grace Merkey 10/27/11
This is well written. I liked it. It seems believable to me.
Jennifer Suchey11/03/11
Congratulations Rhonda!!! You must be so thrilled! :)

Way to go!
Anne Warden 11/03/11
Wow, Rhonda. I'm so, so pleased for you. You're doing great!
Rhonda Ritenour11/04/11
Thank you! I could not have done it without the amazing support, patience and love of my writing group! Incredibly grateful for each of you!