The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/22/11
Great Job! Simple, short and powerfully executed! Loved it. God Bless you~
I like the comparison approach. Although, nothing compares to the Bible and God.

This is really short and sweet.

Nice poem. Good job. God Bless.
10/23/11
Your message shines in this delightful poem. My favorite lines, "The best wireless connections of all - Is prayer, when upon the Lord you call." Very nice!
This is really sweet. You did a great job nailing the topic. I think a fun poem was quite creative with a nice clear message.
Good poetry. I feel you nailed the best spiritual search engine, the Bible. Through prayer God's Word directs us to the answers to our personal quests to find God's Will and direction.
10/26/11
I have to ditto Beth, she has already put my thoughts down! That was my favorite line too! A lot packed into the few lines of your well written poem! Enjoyed! Good job.
10/27/11
You were "on the money" with the topic.:-) Your point of view (message) was direct and clear.

There are weak spots in how the poem was crafted (construction and flow). To give you more knowledgeable hints about how to improve construction and flow of your
poem, I defer to Jan's Writing Basics - a thread on the Forum. Here are a few points she makes:

1)Avoid predictable, forced rhymes (no, go,etc.)

2)Vary your rhyme schemes. Instead of rhyming 1st and 3rd lines, try 2nd and 4th, or other combinations.

You had a few weak areas in your rhythmn. Iloved your conclusion. You started with a question and ended with the answer - the only answer!
Congratulations for ranking 6th inlevel one!