Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)
TITLE: Seduction in my Glass House
By Sheila Bird
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This heart of mine thumps wildly as it leads my eyes to a place where I seldom go. My conscience sweeps in on me whispering a ghostly tune that pricks deep within my soul. As hard as I try, I can’t escape this strange, alluring need that woos in the empty chambers of my existence. I hold in a long, deliberate breath to steady the pounding in my chest. Suddenly my own voice thunders at me and forces me to exhale. I glance around at the canyons in my life and know what I must do.
Inevitably, what I must do wars with what I do, and once again my reality overpowers my longing. Time after time I manage to shake off the desire to slip away and be satisfied in a way that is incomprehensible to most. This tug of war inside of me rages against right and wrong. I know the consequences of succumbing to my desire. I can almost hear the shattering of my glass house as I try to hide my sin.
I know I am being pursued by the sweetest of seduction. I look over my shoulder and there it is lurking in the shadows, beckoning me to partake. I know if I give in to the chase the passion will consume me until there is nothing left. Everything will change. My friends and family will hold me accountable and my life may never be the same.
My doubts and fears mount as I wonder how much longer I can keep up this charade without being caught. I reach for my most self-destructive weapon, my daily planner. I flip backwards through my calendar to see when the last time was that I met in that secret place. I browse through the dense days and nights of my life filled with futility. I use each appointment as a weapon to ward off unwanted relationships.
Alas, to no avail I find myself barely standing, crumpled beneath my own pile of pitiful excuses. I toss the day planner and run as fast as I can toward the voice that calls me. I don’t care anymore what anyone thinks. I have to go and it has to be now.
I fall to my knees and find myself wrapped in the arms of the sweetest embrace. My soul is exposed as one by one the things that held me back no longer matter. I slowly lift my eyes to behold the beauty that I can hardly look upon. I am baptized in the purest of tears that are not even mine. I struggle to speak but my feeble attempt is hushed by the touch of a gentle finger on my lips.
Time stands still as my rendezvous with Christ unfolds. In His presence I become as undone as I have ever been in my life. I plead for forgiveness and see my faults and my fears disappear before me as if they never existed. I cry out to Jesus for mercy and He raises me to my feet. He restores every broken place in me and reveals Himself as my way, my truth and my life.
I cannot say that I fully understand the depth of His quest for someone like me, nor do I understand the magnificent plan drawn up for my salvation since the beginning of time. I do know that I am eternally grateful for the intimacy that we share as a result of His constant search for my devotion to Him.
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