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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)

TITLE: Everything I Never had


I believe she was the kindest thing
My soul had ever met
She lifted me up, filled my empty heart
And was more than I ever thought I'd get

All the little things she used to do
To ease my insecurities and my stress
With her gentle spirit and ready smile
Showing love is what she did best

The forgiveness she gave when I made mistakes
Was forgiveness that wasn't deserved
But she searched my heart and found me worthy
Until, somehow, my life just turned

Started thinking there was a better thing
Just waiting out there for me
Others told me of a bigger, more beautiful life
And I decided I needed to be free

Bottom line, told her I was looking for something more
Tried not to see that pretty face fall
Told myself I was doing what was best for me
And that, certainly, justified it all

I had more important things to consider
So I ignored her pain and tears
Just focused on the shinier, prettier things
I'd coveted for so many years

Left to do my thing and didn't look back
New woman, new life, even a new town
Never thought about how I'd left things back home
Or how very much I'd let her down

And now, here I am, looking around at this life
The people feel shallow and cold
I ask the Lord why I didn't think a moment longer
Before putting that kind of love on hold

The shiny things, they couldn't replace
The safe harbor of her smile
Where I could take comfort in knowing that she
Would stick beside me, step for step, mile after mile

They couldn't replace the something special
Inside that made her heart glow
The way she walked in peace and loved without fear
Made her someone I was proud to know

She had received Christ's unconditional love
And did her best to pass it on to me
I suppose I was afraid to think it could be real
It was just too good to believe

So I tossed her away, for some silly dream
Didn't know it would hurt this bad
Realizing too late what she brought to me
She was everything I never had

What I'm looking for, I can't seem to find
In colorful profiles on the Internet
It's not at parties or in darkened bars
And it's not something I can soon forget

I'm searching for that quiet peace
An easy place to rest my mind
A place where a smile is genuine
Where kisses are both soft... and kind

Where I know I am loved and my past mistakes
Are just that... in the past
Where acceptance has nothing at all to do
With any possessions I have

I'm asking you, Lord, to give me what she had
I'm so tired of fighting this fight
I want this endless searching to end
Help me step out into Your light

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This article has been read 278 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Catrina Bradley 10/21/11
I can feel the longing for more, different in these verses. Your poem has a nice rhythm - not a set meter but easy to fall into because your words tell a great story.

You didn't quite "nail" the topic, but it is definitely there. I felt it was a little slow in the middle, but it began and ended well. I enjoyed this, and I will remember it because of the emotional impact it had on me.
C D Swanson 10/22/11
This was a very deep read and a true soul searching entry. The MC was looking and searching for what she "left behind."

It was very emotional, I felt the pain of the MC and the torment and anguish that was being presented, in her soul searching quest.

I especially liked:

What I'm looking for, I can't seem to find
In colorful profiles on the Internet..

And this:

...I want this endless searching to end
Help me step out into Your light

The latter said it all. I pray the MC finds the peace of God and His unconditional love.

Great job. God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/23/11
This is really lovely and pulled as my heartstrings. The topic was suppose to be about computer searches. Check the message boards if you ever have doubts. Your message was clear and a great one. We do need to stop living in the past and embrace where the place God has us right now.
Beth LaBuff 10/23/11
You've filled this with emotion. What a great lesson on many levels for us. Very nice work here.
djvenzke Venzke10/26/11
Well constructed piece centering on searching. You stirred emotions successfully.
Linda Goergen10/26/11
This poem seemed to me to about a man that left his Godly, loving wife, or first love, to go after the lies of the world! What deep spiritual meaning this has! But the personal tone it is written in has such powerful emotional impact! It may be weak on topic but it is strong in its message and I really enjoyed the read! Well written!!