The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/21/11
I can feel the longing for more, different in these verses. Your poem has a nice rhythm - not a set meter but easy to fall into because your words tell a great story.

You didn't quite "nail" the topic, but it is definitely there. I felt it was a little slow in the middle, but it began and ended well. I enjoyed this, and I will remember it because of the emotional impact it had on me.
10/22/11
This was a very deep read and a true soul searching entry. The MC was looking and searching for what she "left behind."

It was very emotional, I felt the pain of the MC and the torment and anguish that was being presented, in her soul searching quest.

I especially liked:

What I'm looking for, I can't seem to find
In colorful profiles on the Internet..

And this:

...I want this endless searching to end
Help me step out into Your light

The latter said it all. I pray the MC finds the peace of God and His unconditional love.

Great job. God Bless~
This is really lovely and pulled as my heartstrings. The topic was suppose to be about computer searches. Check the message boards if you ever have doubts. Your message was clear and a great one. We do need to stop living in the past and embrace where the place God has us right now.
10/23/11
You've filled this with emotion. What a great lesson on many levels for us. Very nice work here.
Well constructed piece centering on searching. You stirred emotions successfully.
10/26/11
This poem seemed to me to about a man that left his Godly, loving wife, or first love, to go after the lies of the world! What deep spiritual meaning this has! But the personal tone it is written in has such powerful emotional impact! It may be weak on topic but it is strong in its message and I really enjoyed the read! Well written!!