Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)

TITLE: No Thanks, Snoop
By Lisa Bishop
10/18/11


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Icy breezes urge Trip Lancaster to tuck his woman, Molly Morrow, under his arm. He gathers her into his side and boosts their gait up a notch. From Summit University, the trek to South Roast is a challenge, a challenge he loves. All he needs in a chunk of spare time is a backpack, boots, and a mountain trail.

A dimpled smile invades half of his face with perfect teeth. He squeezes Molly tighter, making his daily declaration. “Momo, you’re the perfect girl for me!”

“Only because you’re the perfect man for me.” She matches his enthusiasm.

“South Roast is the place to study for midterms. Great atmosphere. Stellar Wi-Fi.”

“And superb coffee.”

Arriving at South Roast, Trip swings a door open for Molly. Patina finishes welcome the couple as they enter the vintage mansion turned hotspot. It is buzzing with classmates. Trip flashes his famous smile and invites others along to his favorite table. They gather their belongings, glad to follow.

Molly marvels as each student accepts Trip’s invitation. She was glad to follow him into their relationship, despite unresolved issues of his former association with Linden Beckworth. Disclosing few details, he had asked Molly, an upper class officer of Christian Collegiate Fellowship, to pray for his relationships. While praying and helping him plug in at CCF, Molly fell into a mothering mode and she fell in love.

Entourage now in tow, Trip cuts a path toward his table. Timeworn floors creak with stories of days gone by as the group bustles to the quiet back room. Aromas of roasted caffeine waft through the air and a high tech sound system hums acoustic tunes.

“Momo, they’re playing our John Jackson tune. This place rocks.”

“Trip, I love it all, and I’m crazy about you, but we better get cracking.” Molly observes how every seat is occupied.

He grins and winks as she settles in beside him. What will I do when she graduates in May?

A waitress skips to their table. “Hey guys! Whatcha’ want?”

Friendly Trip greets their peer, Kristen. “Load two buckets with mocha, all the way.”

“Okie doke,” says Kristen, whirling away to the nostalgic counter flanked with a strand of wooden stools. Behind the counter, old marries new in a masterpiece of mirrors, aged wood, modern mugs, and glass shelving.

Exchanges about football and approaching holiday destinations dart across the tabletop as the students splay books and connect to Wi-Fi. Trip tosses a few paper wads.

Level-headed Molly flings back a crumpled wad with a gentle reminder. “Midterms?”

While perusing her psychology book, the last name “Beckworth” appears, reminding her of Linden and her mother. She frowns. Why does he refuse to talk about Linden, yet he keeps the blanket she made for him? What happened between them to sever their connection? Did Mrs. Beckworth write the book?

“Trip, are you curious about that book Mrs. Beckworth said she’d write about you and Linden?”

“Nope. That was two years ago and I’m over it. God is working my life out for good. I have you, don’t I?”

He bypasses a potential issue with sweet talk.

“I’m curious. I’ll Snoop it.”

She types “Phoebe Beckworth” in the search bar of Snoop. A sample of a book entitled “Honest to Goodness” appears. Surprised, she gasps, clutches Trip’s arm, and hungrily reads aloud. A conversation between two fictional characters, Baron Olin and Roxi Robinson, comprises the excerpt.

Snoop uncovered a rousing kick to Trip’s gut.

Baron Olin. That’s the alias Mrs. Beckworth planned for me. Wow…her writing endeavor is actually a book. How did she create a character just like me? Freaky. It’s like Baron’s thoughts mirror my soul. Roxi is a duplicate of Linden, a challenge tougher than the steepest trail.

For two years, Trip has immersed himself in SU’s engineering program, maintained honors, connected with friends, found Molly, and pressed on in his faith. With every success, he has shoved Linden further back into the past and blazed into the future, but thoughts of her flamed up unexpectedly. There was something other-worldly about the way she remained alive in his head, and always with the attachment of specific Bible verses. Mrs. Beckworth promised to always pray for him, and somehow, he believes her.

“Trip! You okay?”

Molly’s patting on his shoulder summons him back to friends and studies at South Roast. His life is good. With a stiff reset to his resolve, he replaces high maintenance “Roxi Robinson” with a winning smile.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 384 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Mona Purvis10/20/11
I love how you're able to allow the tension in this relationship run just under the horizon. Keeps the reader interested. You did a really good job. On topic in an interesting way. Fresh and believable. Keep writing.

Mona
Patricia Protzman10/20/11
A fresh and creative take on the topic. I enjoyed the story from beginning to end. Great writing.
CD Swanson 10/22/11
This was truly interesting and imaginative. A clever entry that was unique in bringing a story forward. I loved it. God Bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 10/22/11
This was an interesting story and I enjoyed the tension. The beginning was a tad slow for me. I had to read the first sentence five times before I understood it. A good suggestion is to have someone read aloud to you, if they stumble you may want to rework the sentence structure. The characters were intriguing. I could see this more as a longer story. I felt you were limited by the word count. Keep writing you have some great characters and descriptions.
Sydney Avey10/24/11
The beginning gave me enough about the characters and setting to want to continue. There is a good sense of place in this story. However, there is a mystery that is unresolved, which makes me think this is an excerpt from a larger work. For that reason, the ending is unsatisfying. Molly interests me less than Linden!
Linda Goergen10/25/11
The story was terrific, wonderfully written with great detail but I was left with sentiments exactly the same as Sydney’s. No matter the stories present scene, the unresolved mystery of Linden was what I left with. LOL Great writing! Blessings!
djvenzke Venzke 10/25/11
Good use of the topic to increase the mystery of his previous relationship. I agree, this doesn't seem crafted to stand on its own, leaving me wondering if its part of a larger project...one which I'd be interested to read by the way.
Beth LaBuff 10/25/11
I think you have a lot of talent as a writer. You painted the coffee shop scene exquisitely.
Patricia Protzman11/03/11
Congratulations!!! I knew you had talent and winning first place shows it. Great job.
Jacqueline Burrell11/03/11
Congratulations on 1st place!!!
Mona Purvis11/03/11
Lisa, this is just great! I'm so glad your talent is recognized! #1 Way to Go!!