The Official Writing Challenge
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On topic was good.
I liked it from Sarah's POV and prayer. touching. leading the way to start their day.
Found it a little bit predictable, but good beginning and ending. The sentence " as it turned out after many google searches that found for me much help needed info to aid in my fixing the prob with computer I finally had it fixed." Reads to mixed up and poor punctuation. But still an endearing story.
10/22/11
Good job of keeping on topic. I enjoyed the story and the characters. God Bless~
This is sweet. My favorite part in the little one's prayer. I could easily picture it.
Below is my opinion of the rating criteria based on a 0-5 scale.

Topic 2.2 Though you mentioned the search engine it didn't seem to be the main point of the story.

Creativity: 3.3 I really thought this was fresh and sweet.

Craft: 2.9 You had a few errors especially with commas. Remember to capitalize Mom when used as a name. You did a nice job with not being predictable.

Comphresion 3.3 You had a clear message that many can relate to.

Start: 3.6 I really enjoyed your beginning. It was descriptive and you did a good job establishing the setting and characters.

Ending: 2.9 It felt a little forced andnot as natural.

Flow 2.9 It almost felt like two different stories. I really enjoyed the beginning but the transition could have been smoother.

Publishable: 2.9 It needs some polishing. Ithink with some reworking it could make a good devotion. I think a devotional type format would be a great fit for you. You obviously have garnered a greatdeal Of wisdom from life and have a passionto share it:)
10/25/11
This was an interesting read and so realistic, I felt like I was there, peeking in on the mom and kids! And little Sarah’s prayer was so precious! But as descriptive and entertaining as the beginning was, then ending, (the last three paragraphs) just lost all that and seemed to just be summed up abruptly. I know it could have been because of word count but it would have probably been better to cut some of the detail in the beginning about the alarm and use the words for a stronger ending. But all in all this was a very charming read and I enjoyed it! Blessings!
The child's prayer is precious. That story could stand on it's own, The topic seemed secondary, like it was tacked on the end to qualify your piece. Other than that, I like your style.
10/25/11
My thought as I read, "A little child shall lead them." I could see much of this happening. :)
10/28/11
An enjoyable read! You've successfully portrayed the innocence of a child very well, and I particularly like the prayer by Sarah.
Congratulations for ranking 13th in level one!
11/06/11
Congratulations! Well done!