The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/22/11
I enjoyed your article. I liked the use of the dialogue with the characters.It was a realistic story. I could see that situation happening.
09/23/11
This is an amazing story. I think you captured the essence of a mother's longing for her lost son.
This is a nice part two. I have a friend who's son refused to talk to her and her pain is so real, but she will never stop praying for him.

Try showing what the character is doing instead of using takes like cried, said etc. (also you don't need that space between tag line and quote) For example in this line you don't need the words she answered:Becky’s heart raced, no one had called her Rebecca since grade school. She answered,
“Yes.”
After grade school. You can just write "Yes." and if you want to show even more add something like! cold sweat trickled down her neck. Also remember to capitalize Mom if it is being used as a name, lowercase if it has words like my, the, her in front.

You've done a good job showing thepain of the entire family. You have some nice descriptive lines. It's hard to do A part 2 and still have it stand on its own, without becoming repetitive for those who have read the first part. You had a nice balance.
09/27/11
Interesting read, that could easily be a realistic situation in many homes today. It worked well alone, even if it is seemingly a continuation or sequel. Good job! Enjoyed.
09/28/11
I gotta go read part I:) I think part II stands alone fine. I like it. I want to read more! I heard about a guy where his friends wouldn't call the police either, and sadly he did die. It was a drug situation, they just wanted to protect themselves and not get help so badly needed for their so called friend. At first aid training, we were told this happens quite often. Your use of the topic could help save a life!!!
Congratulations for placing 6th in level one!