The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/08/11
Cute story, I liked it and the whole meaing behind it. God bless~
09/09/11
Well done! Interesting, encouraging and realistic.
09/10/11
Please work on keeping your reader focused on one point of view, instead of switching back and forth between Emma's and Noah's thoughts and feelings.

I do like the way your characters dialogued. With a little work, you have an excellent story and a topic that plagues many of us - just how should our witness be seen by the world?

Thank you.
This is A good story. It has the potential to by great with a little polishing.

There are A few places where you need a quotation mark. You also jumped the POV between the 2 MCs.

But I really liked the characters and I can tell you are working on showing not telling. You wrote A story that both teens and adults well enjoy.
09/12/11
Liked this a lot. I could sense their emotions, his fears and frustrations, her caution and concern. You wisely leave us hanging, wanting to learn the rest of the story. Good job!