The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/08/11
Good job with scriptures fitting into the storyline. I liked this. God Bless~
This is a nice story and I really liked the characters.

Instead of using tags like said, asked etc. Show us who is talking by describing some actions. For example instead of Tom said, picture what Tom might be doing. Tom twirled his pencil, “I’ve never thought about it..."

You have some really good dialog and this is a good message. Many writers struggle with Show Vs. Tell. I believe once you do more showing and less telling you will be a great writer! You put your heart in your story and it really shows. Keep writing!