He will change me
“You’re going to hell!” is what I was told during the first bible study group I had ever attended, when they realized I had lived years as a Christian and had never been baptized. “Wow, slow down a minute! I assure you, I am going to heaven!”
This is not a story about explaining the peace I have always had, and still have about my baptism; this is story about me –
Two years later, the day is near and I will be baptized, August 28th, 2011. As I write this story, the time has yet to arrive, but that is why this moment in history so precious to me. I have a great expectancy that God is about to change my spirit, again!
To understand this expectancy inside my spirit, we must go back into time. I wasn’t raised in a leave it to beaver type home, by any stretch of the imagination. I had a very hard-loving family, a family with generations of evil buried on the inside of them. I was loved, there was no doubt but I was never shown the love of Jesus.
I can’t tell you when I became a Christian; nor the date in which I gave my heart to the Lord. I do know that I have been on a supernatural journey for about 13 years now, so I don’t study this unnecessary information. I keep my eyes on the Lord and know that He is guiding my path.
God used a TV evangelist to become my spiritual mother therefore keeping me clear of a church building until about 3 years ago. Between God himself and Joyce Meyer, my spiritual mother, I was taught to live in total freedom with Jesus. I wasn’t taught about dominations, religions, or laws. I was taught of love, grace, & mercy. He gave me a revelation in the early stages of my walk with Him, about His love for me. My Father loved me so much there wasn’t anything I could do to change that!
A girl that spent years with the hands of satan wrapped around her soul, finally found the piece of the puzzle that filled the void, God! I continued to live the only life I knew; death, drugs, & sex mixed with a cockiness of God’s love for me. No matter where what shape I was in, “I am going to heaven, no man on earth or devil in hell could have convinced me otherwise.”
God FIRST loved me and as a result I began to fall in love with Him. The more knew Him the more I would look back and realize I had changed, just a little every time, but without doubt there was change.
No one ever told me I was going to hell; they told me that to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, I must believe! And that is what I did, I believed!
I seek God, my Father, my Teacher, my Comforter every day. I have lived years of desperation and I KNOW where peace comes from. My Father didn’t teach me of condemnation, He didn’t teach me hell, fire, and brimstone. He SHOWED me the purist love I had ever experienced. I was not going to believe that my Father, the one that loved me so much that He allowed His only son to suffer and die for me, was going to throw me into a pit of fire and let me burn for eternity!
“Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?” I would say to those who would tell me I wasn’t worthy of stepping into Heaven!
You see, my Father changed me little by little, glory to glory, over the years and because of that, IT STUCK! I don’t struggle with sin or man’s law. I expect my dad to take care of me and remove anything in my life that He doesn’t see fit for me. You might ask, “How can you be so sure?” because my Father loves me and I KNOW IT!
Man told me I had to be baptized to enter the Kingdom of heaven but my Father said, “Be still My child and wait on My instructions.”
Am I going to hell if I leave this earth before August 28th, 2011? Absolutely not!
Am I going to get baptized? Yes I am .My Father told me to! And when my Father speaks to me, I have a great expectancy that He will also change me!
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