The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 334 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/25/11
Great story! Your style is similar to mine. I almost felt like I was reading my own writing. (So, it MUST be amazing, right?! Haha!)

I had a feeling that what was in the pot wasn't pie filling, and when it was obvious in the story that it was not, my first thought was potpourri.

You did a nice job of building up the drama of such a silly event, including the dread of staying at the in-laws.
08/25/11
I enjoyed your thouht processes here. It was a yummy adventure going on your pie walk. Love your humor and word choices.
This is hysterical. I wondered if it might be potpourri Yuck! You certainly did a great job staying on topic with this one.

The only thing I might recommend is not to use so many exclamation points. They work great in dialog, if need be but when telling a story, let your words show the exclamation.

You really did a nice job with this from sleeping in your wife's childhood room to the mouthful of "pie filling". I giggled throughout.
08/26/11
Good story! Great imagination...I loved it. God Bless~
08/26/11
Oh yuck! Did you tell the story to the whole family the next morning?
08/26/11
Sara, this has actually been a well guarded secret until now. It's taken me years to come to terms with it. Lol. When I make a confession - I go all out!
Would you say that you got 'your just desserts?'

The story is well told. It really held my attention, and certainly gave me a giggle.


Juliette
09/02/11
Congratulations, well done! God Bless~