The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 436 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
True to life stories are often the best because they have more meat and depth to them. I really like this piece. It is so cute. Typical little ones- I have two of those who were always getting into things-but they grow up fast and all you have left are those memories-enjoy and savor them-they will last a lifetime.:)
I loved this true story. Keep writing. Every life has great stories, but not everyone can share them this well.
08/26/11
What a neat story...I have the same sort of nostalgic feeling when I smell Emeraude perfume...my mother's favorite and a Christmas gift that, well, leaked out one year! Ha...well done!
08/26/11
That brings back memories of my youth! I was always the first of my siblings to investigate presents and things, highly inquisitive, ever searching!

Nice job, and an adorable story overall...I loved it. I felt your sister's pain getting paddled!

Your friend just read the story and finally got the answer to her question all these years! "So that was who gave me the pantyhose!" lol....LOVED IT!

God Bless you~
08/26/11
And now she knows ;-)

Loved this humorous story! "Don't you dare laugh." LOL

A bit of red ink: watch for tense switching, going from present to past tense and back. Stay with one tense throughout.

Great story, keep writing!
This is a great story and definitely right on topic.

My small editing note is you used the phrase my Daddy. You capitalize words like that when they are used as a name but if it has my, the, your etc in front of it then it should be lower case.

I giggled throughout this story and could easily picture the entire scene. You did a great job painting me a picture with your words. I love that it's a true story.
08/29/11
What a cute story - wished Papa had seen the funny side! Bang on target for topic!
08/29/11
Delightful, well-told story.

In addition to the other grammatical comments made here, with which I agree, there is no need to ever use the phrase "off of." The "of" is redundant.
08/30/11
What a great true story to share! I agree with the previous red ink comments, so I won't add to them. Your pacing was great in this!