The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/17/05
this is a special memory and writen well... hold onto for years to come..andwrite more about your life! I would love to read it!
10/18/05
There's something special about reading true stories... I also enjoyed how you tied this in with this week's topic! Well written!
Having had a premature baby I can certainly relate to the nerves and worries you relate! This is a lovely and well told memory, and as sweet as a peach! God bless.
10/19/05
Wow. This is true? You have a well-written exciting life. Whens the autobiography coming out on paperback? ;) :D
This is beautiful and as others have said, special for being a true story. I'm asuming this is your own story and I hope you'll share this with your daughter when she's older. Well written. Keep writing.
10/21/05
What a lovely memory.

I like the way you went from the scene at the beach with Ali to the story of her birth.

I wonder if you could somehow bring it back more strongly to where you started? Just an idea. Maybe more description of juice dribbling down your healthy little girl's face, sticky hands washed in the salty ocean water etc?

But really, this was great! I just offered an idea because you did ask for feedback. Keep writing! I look forward to reading more.
10/21/05
Hey, great story! You have a delightful "writer's voice" and I look forward to reading more of your work as you develop. There were a few punctuation errors - a peer editor could help you tidy those up. But all in all, this was a wonderful story!
Charming story! I, too, think the beginning could have been stronger, but great story!
10/22/05
What a precious story! Very well written.
10/23/05
Delightful story of your hopes and fears. Thanks