The Official Writing Challenge
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THIS IS A SAD STORY. IT'S AMAZING HOW MANY PARENTS MESS UP THEIR KIDS WITHOUT REALIZING IT.

I DID NOTICE YOU STARTED THE BEGINNING IN PAST TENSE THEN SWITCHED TO PRESENT THEN BACK AGAIN. ALSO MAKE SURE YOU START A NEW PARAGRAPH FOR EVERY TIME A DIFFERENT PERSON IS TALKING. EVEN THE ONE WORD QUOTE"WHAT?" SHOULD BE IN A PARAGRAPH BY ITSELF.

I REALLY ENJOYED THE ENDING AND THE MESSAGE IS ONE THAT NEEDS TO BE HEARD. KEEP WRITING, YOU HAVE GREAT IDEAS. (Sorry for I'm just too laZY TO RETYPE:)
You've captured an ageless story of a mother who doesn't know how her behavior affects her child. It is Christ's own wish that traumas such as these end. You have brought to our attention a child's plight while developing a wonderful story around it. Keep writing!
08/14/11
A nice reminder of the importance of touching lives with dignity and encouragement. Nicely written
I want to believe there are a lot of teachers out there like Mrs. Smith. You have a knack for telling a story. As a beginner, there is a lot to think about-like where to put paragraphs, grammar, which person or tense to write in,etc. One of the things I do, is pick one of my favorite authors and dissect a couple pages, noting the above. It's like getting a private lesson.
Such a heart piercing story as too many little lives have been broken because of parents poor choices and selfishness. I was so relieved to learn that the little girl had a caring teacher.Nicely written. Other than a few minor grammatical errors your characters and dialogue were believable. Keep on writing and I agree with Marcella. I need to read more myself and pay attention to the set up of sentences and paragraphs as I sometimes miss errors in my first drafts. God bless your heart touching piece!!