The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 350 times
Member Comments
I am the worst person to read a story like this. I knew from the beginning even from the title it was about a dentist chair. But of course it pulled me in and I had to know if I was correct. It made me smile in the end. Well done.
Proof reading is key here. You used the word "mast" instead of mask, just a typo I imagine.
I love your idea it is very creative. I will admit that I figured out early on that it was a dentist's chair but I also love to write surprise endings so that may be part of it; along with the topic {most people would agree that an execution is a big deal}.

I noticed you jumped from a third person's view to inside his head; perhaps if his thoughts were in italics it wouldn't feel like you were switching POV.

I do love your character (I wish he had a name with maybe a tough nickname that might be fitting for a prisoner) and the twist at the end. You painted some great pictures. I could smell the burning flesh. I love a story with a twist. Nice job.
Amusing look at a visit to the dentist!

There are some punctuation errors throughout. Questions without question marks. Sentences with commas where there should be a period and a new sentence starting.

Example: He was certainly not the first, and most definitely not the last, he had been told that three or four per year was not unusual.

The comma after "last" should be a period.

Nice use of words and colorful description. :)
Congratulations on ranking 7th in level one!