The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/04/11
Ahhh, what a sweet story. This is cute. You did a good job.
It’s quite apparent you had fun writing this story! I enjoyed the interaction between the two reuniting friends. I’m wondering if the rhyming parts were intentional? For me it interrupted the flow of the story somewhat.
You did a nice job of building suspense and keeping the reader guessing about the ending. Well done.
08/07/11
You built the scene and led us well into the story, then threw in a positive twist. Well done.
08/07/11
A good story well written - keep them coming our way. Lovely!
This is a sweet story with realistic, believable characters.

I did feel distracted by the elipses bracket and ~ signs. Your writing is strong let it stand on its own. Also double check the rules about using Quotation marks. You needed to capitalize the first words in some and you should use a newparagraph everytime there is a new speaker even if the Quote is one word.

I loved the dialog and how the MC came to terms with being second by the end. For a bit, I thought youmight try a twist ending and have her fix the me up with Stephen. But yay ending was great and it really fit the topic. Nice job!
The Wedding Bliss is dialogued beautifully. It is a special story.