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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Crime and Punishment (not about the book) (07/21/11)

TITLE: Victim of Remorse
By April Jenkins
07/23/11


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There is a man in jail cell one
His thoughts dithering, “What have I done?”
He is charged with a murder crime,
punishment for him is the mere passing of time.

Now there’s nothing to do but wait
Life behind an iron gate
His enemy now time as thoughts do haunt
While around him other inmates taunt

Young man in cell one, “What did you do?”
I know you failed to think things through.
Your baby daughter not even two
Now will grow up hardly knowing you.

You used a gun and not a knife
But all the same you took a life.
What about his future wife
You know quite well her pain and strife.

Stripped are all your false pretenses
Forced to face dire consequences
Your deeds resulting in these recompenses
Of a life behind heavy metal fences.

You need not waste another day
For Christ prepared a better way
Get down on your knees and pray
Even though you’ve gone astray
God still loves you anyway
Only He can take your sins away.

Seek Him without hesitation,
Receive His gift of sweet salvation
Welcome His peaceful inhabitation
God is the true justification.


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This article has been read 186 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sherry Norton08/03/11
I truely like this one. In my opinion it was a good job.
Phee Paradise 08/04/11
Good take on the topic. I like the sequence from crime to judgment to mercy.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/04/11
This is wonderful! Congratulations on ranking 11th in level one!
diana kay08/06/11
great poem i love the rhythm and the simplicity of the rhyme which contrasts with the serious and tragic subject matter. I like the way you start with the man in cell one, and write as observer talking to the world about him and then turn to address the poem to the "man in cell one" himself. reminds me of a courtroom and the writer being a judge.
there was one point when you muddled the his/your in the line about the wife. I think this should have been "your wife" because you were talking to the "man in cell one" then.
well done on your placing well up in the top 1/3rd of the field