The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
06/16/11
I love the concept of your story! Very well told, too. To be honest, I was a little confused about the ending, but when I went back and found the part of what the clear box represented it made more sense. I was still confused about why he appeared grouchy at first and now he was not, so more clarity there would be nice. However, the overall idea was a great one and I liked the way you told it.
06/18/11
What a creative checkout at the grocery store. The story was totally unexpected.
I really enjoyed this. Very imaginative concept of putting our years on the conveyor belt of eternity.
06/20/11
Lovely allegory.
06/23/11
Great story and nicely written - congrats on finishing with "Highly Commended" too!