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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Checkout (06/09/11)

TITLE: Amazing Saving
By Jennifer Hill


I found myself standing in a checkout line yet again. How many checkout lines do we find ourselves in anyways? The lady in front of me looked like she must have seen hundreds. She had her chain purse with her of course and a sweet old granny smile. She was telling the cashier something and called her “Dear” a lot. The kid behind me though he looked way too young to be in this line by himself. He had a toy boat in his hand. I wondered where his parents were. The guy behind him was middle aged and cranky looking. He must’ve been in a hurry, because he couldn’t stop tapping his foot.

The cashier finished checking out the little old lady. It was my turn now. I turned to my cart and started placing my choices on the short conveyer belt. My childhood was pretty neatly bunched together, like a delicious fruit medley plate from the deli. It had been bright and colorful, healthy, full of flavor and fun. Next I placed my teen years up on the belt. It was better represented by a multi-snack pack, a frozen pizza and a bag of M&Ms.

The cashier rung the items up and I continued to unload the cart. The little boy behind me continued to play with his boat. Still so young to be here I thought. The grumpy man continued to sigh impatiently as he waited his turn. He probably was just anxious to get home too.

My twenties were just shoved into a box. The box was dented, torn, dusty and dirty. Not anything to brag about. Not anything great to share. Lived for myself, pretty much and cared too much for the world. I placed it quickly up on the belt and watched as it got tossed in the trash.

The cashier smiled at me, “No need for that stuff here.”

I smiled back at her. I don’t know why I was surprised at first. I always liked the idea of my sins being thrown into the dark blue sea. Those words always painted a picture of peace in my heart, made me feel God’s love and forgiveness.

I carefully reached down and picked up a small clear box, it held nothing that the eye could see. It represented my faith in Jesus. He was my Lord and Savior. Without Him, none of my life would matter. Every day that I lived was because He had given His life for me. Now, I stood just moments from seeing Him, face to face. I couldn’t describe the excitement building inside me. Being in the presence of Jesus would be amazing, breath taking, unimaginable.

I continued to unload my cart. My thirties were represented in nice neat packages. First a pretty white wedding gift bag. I beamed at the thought of my husband, I’d soon see again. It had been almost three years since his passing. He had broken our deal. I was supposed to be the one who went first, but he had died in a car accident. I’m sure he’ll blame that snow storm, when I see him. The excitement I had grew all the more.

Next were pretty little packages of pink and blues, one for each of our children. I was at peace, knowing each was walking in the truth. There was one more for the baby we lost. The box was still in yellow. My wait was almost over. I’d soon meet that precious child, I’d always wondered about. My excitement would soon be uncontainable, if checkout took much longer.

I grabbed my forties and fifties and added them to the order. They were full, happy, and everything I ever dreamed of. It had been a joy filled life. I quickly tossed my sixties and the last few years and placed them with the rest. I watched them get totaled up. The cashier smiled as the bottom of the screen flashed FORGIVEN.

The little boy smiled up at me. He took my hand and asked if he could come along with me. The checkout lady nodded with a cheery smile and we were on our way. We’d made it through checkout because of the amazing saving that only comes from Jesus Christ.

The grouchy man, turned out to not be so grouchy. He was now standing at the checkout counter with the biggest grin, I may have ever seen. He handed the cashier a small clear box.

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This article has been read 307 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jenna Dawn06/16/11
I love the concept of your story! Very well told, too. To be honest, I was a little confused about the ending, but when I went back and found the part of what the clear box represented it made more sense. I was still confused about why he appeared grouchy at first and now he was not, so more clarity there would be nice. However, the overall idea was a great one and I liked the way you told it.
Bonnie Bowden 06/18/11
What a creative checkout at the grocery store. The story was totally unexpected.
Jackie Smithwick06/19/11
I really enjoyed this. Very imaginative concept of putting our years on the conveyor belt of eternity.
Jan Ackerson 06/20/11
Lovely allegory.
Hiram Claudio06/23/11
Great story and nicely written - congrats on finishing with "Highly Commended" too!