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Laurie sat in the waiting room completing paperwork for the medical procedure about to take place. As she glanced around nervously, wanting to get this over with, her name was called. She had to fight the impulse to checkout and leave the Planned Parenthood building as quickly as possible. Instead, she found herself walking through the exam room door.
It was as though there was a force compelling her to go ahead with the decision made many weeks earlier. The day Mother was told about the possibility of her 17 year old daughter being pregnant was playing through Laurie’s head. Most surprising was the reaction. Anger, disappointment, these would be expected. Mother said to get an abortion. No hesitation. The decision not to say anything to Father was agreed between the two women. Better to just get this done quickly and quietly. Laurie soon found out why Mother responded the way she did. Mother had found herself in the same place; a young woman with her whole life ahead of her with plans that didn’t include babies, not yet. Only this was way before society said abortion was acceptable, a woman’s right to choose. Her story was one of a late night, a dark alley and a drunken physician performing a crude procedure that could kill the patient. Laurie was stunned to learn this about her Mother.
Dressed in the hospital gown along with several others waiting their turn Laurie felt she was in some sort of assembly line. The place seemed to have it down to a science so that each “procedure” took as little time as possible. Women were at different stages, some just coming out from the changing room, others already had the IV inserted and nurses were going around checking everyone's blood pressure.
Laurie’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted as she heard a scream and then sobbing. She had been successfully blocking out the cries coming from down the hall until now. There were at least three rooms that she watched women go to when called. Still thinking about changing her mind, feeling like it had been an eternity since entering from the waiting room, it happened, her name was called.
Dutifully, she followed the instructions given and climbed up on the table scooting down, placing her feet in the stirrups. The fear and guilt was weighing down on her like an elephant sitting on her chest. How had she got to this point? What about her decision made just 8 months ago to make Jesus her Savior and be baptized? Oh how angry and disappointed God must be with her today! Well, she wasn’t going to make a sound, not like the previous women, no way. She deserved every bit of pain and she would take it silently. She couldn’t hold back the tears, however.
While resting in recovery waiting to be released Laurie had no idea of the enormity of the decision made; that she would always be waiting to be released from what she did today. And although it was as if she just erased a mistake, the truth was that it would remain in her soul like indelible ink.
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