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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Checkout (06/09/11)

TITLE: Silent Despair
By gloria pierre dean
06/14/11


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****
That’s it! I am done with this deliverance of my people!

They don’t want me. I tried to help. That Egyptian was beating him to death so I intervened and this is where it got me.

So now I am on the run. Me! I am a murderer now.

I cannot live in this country anymore. I am checking out.
Pharaoh wants to kill me. My people do not want me.

I am heading for the ‘back of beyond’.
No servants, no camels or horses to take me. I’ll just keep going.
Who knows where I will end up…..

My name is Moses.

*****
This is no good.

I cannot face my father and those Midianites anymore.
I have crawled into this winepress and I am winnowing my wheat.

I don’t care how silly I look down here. I have checked out.

I wish that Jehovah would send us a deliverer, a mighty man of valor who is fearless and who will lead us into victory.

The Midianites steal from us and destroy our crops. I am poor and I am scared. I freely admit that!

My name is Gideon.
****

“Go to Nineveh” the Father said to me.

Not me! I am not going to Nineveh. Nineties are wicked! Wicked! A wicked people”.

I will not help them. They have been the enemy of my people. Let them be overthrown. I will not preach to them. Not me. I am going to Tarshish. No one can find me there; not even God.

It’s as far away as anyone can humanly go in the opposite direction.

Down the steps I go into the bowels of the ship. I am not a stowaway. I paid my fare.

I am checking out.

My name is Jonah.

****

“Look at what they are doing to Him.
Where is His Father God now?
This is beyond human endurance and I want no part of this scene.
Sorry Yeshua. You are on your own”.

He weaves his way to the edge of the crowd, waiting for his moment.

“All the others are gone, I think. I can’t see any of them”.

Terror filled his heart.

“After all, I did try to defend Him. I did!
I did cut off Malchus’s ear. I missed his neck by a hair”

But this; this has gone too far.
All is lost.

Time to mingle with the crowd….I’m checking out of here.

“No! I don’t know Him! I don’t know The man.

Leave me alone, woman”

My name is Peter.


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This article has been read 220 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nancy Bucca06/16/11
So many wonderful examples of people who wanted to check out but whom God never checked out on. Hope this wins something. You did a great job.
Helen Curtis06/17/11
This is excellent writing. I love the concept of looking at those who checked out on their responsibilities, and you clearly show the heart of each person, their 'excuse' for their actions. Really well done.
Bonnie Bowden06/19/11
Very creative use of the topic choice. I am glad God never gives up on us, inspite of our choices.
Jan Ackerson 06/20/11
Good job at helping us to get in the heads of these biblical people.

I wonder if it would be more effective for the fourth scenario to be a person who chose NOT to check out--or even a contemporary person with similar thoughts, but listening to the voice of God. As it is, you leave the reader with a 'downer' feeling. FYI--your spell checker changed "Ninevites" to "nineties".

You chose some varied people, with very different circumstances--something for everyone, and that's good!