The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 228 times
Member Comments
Wonderful message.

If you broke it down into paragraphs, with double spacing in between, it would have been easier to read.

I think you meant to put an "e" on the word som.
You have the makings for a nice devotional. Breaking it into paragraphs will make it shine.
Short and sweet devotional which makes an important point.

To make a devo more readable, give it a more personal touch--start with an anecdote, and relax your 'voice' so that your readers feel that they're listening to a friend.

Well-organized, with a logical flow and a really good use of the topic word.
This has a nice message I'd love it if you added a personal story that really makes your point. It would help connect with the reader.

I also like the scripture you used. It fits well with your message. You also did a nice job of using two different views of checkout which was a nice play on words while still staying on topic.

This was a new angle to the topic. Your comparison to the secular and the spiritual was dead on.

I would focus on sentence structure. For example: "If we are to be the influential light to the world that Jesus called us to be" is not a complete sentence.

Loved the message.