The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/16/11
Wonderful message.

If you broke it down into paragraphs, with double spacing in between, it would have been easier to read.

I think you meant to put an "e" on the word som.
06/16/11
You have the makings for a nice devotional. Breaking it into paragraphs will make it shine.
06/19/11
Short and sweet devotional which makes an important point.

To make a devo more readable, give it a more personal touch--start with an anecdote, and relax your 'voice' so that your readers feel that they're listening to a friend.

Well-organized, with a logical flow and a really good use of the topic word.
This has a nice message I'd love it if you added a personal story that really makes your point. It would help connect with the reader.

I also like the scripture you used. It fits well with your message. You also did a nice job of using two different views of checkout which was a nice play on words while still staying on topic.

06/22/11
This was a new angle to the topic. Your comparison to the secular and the spiritual was dead on.

I would focus on sentence structure. For example: "If we are to be the influential light to the world that Jesus called us to be" is not a complete sentence.

Loved the message.