The Official Writing Challenge
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06/16/11
Well written story. I have been working with elementary children lately. I hear that line "That's not fair" quite a bit. You really seem to have gotten into the mindset of a child's thoughts.

This is the first story I've read for this week, but it seems like a winner to me.
06/16/11
Cute story. I liked reading the little girl's thoughts. I was able to put myself in her place and all the thoughts that were going through her head as she REALLY thought the whole thing through. I couldn't wait to see if she took the candy! I like how you tied in her thoughts of rationalizing why it was okay to take it and then the thoughts of why she knew it was wrong. And in the end, she does the right thing. Yay! :)
06/16/11
Great story, I love it.
06/16/11
What a wonderfully creative story to find here in beginners. You won't stay there for long. Great job!
06/17/11
This is a delightful story as it describes the angst of a little girl trying to reason with temptation so perfectly. I agree, you won't remain in level one for long with writing like this.
Well done! A piece most of us could relate to facing temptations, whether large or small. Very nicely written and you belong in a higher writing bracket for sure. Great job!
06/18/11
Good for Mary Catherine!!! If she can overcome temptation and do the right thing, how much more should we mature Christians do the right thing. Loved it! God bless!
06/19/11
You did a fine job of capturing the young girls' POV. Far too often, young children in fiction are portrayed as too precocious or too goody-goody. This little girl seemed real.

I did feel as if there was a bit too much repetition in the first half.

I love the way you showed the girls' conflicted feelings--you're a very good writer.
06/23/11
Congratulations for placing 2nd in the beginner category this week.
06/25/11
Congratulations on your second place win!