The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Great hook with the beginning. Loved the scenario to include the poem. Is it a happy ever after or a time of testing?
06/12/11
I love the way you wrote this. My favorite so far, and very creative. You've definitely proved you can write it, "baby."

06/13/11
I could identify with this story. It was well crafted.
I liked how you tackled the topic. Having it as part of homework made it feel real and the characters a delight. I enjoyed the poem too.

I like to write poems but have a hard time getting the rhythm down. It's hard for me to hear the beat so I have to count out each line for the syllable pattern. I noticed some of your lines had too many or too few syllables and getting the stressed accent in the right order is hard for me too.

But when it turns out to be such a lovely piece that feels like it comes from your heart all those poetry rules don't matter to me at all. Nice job.