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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fruit (10/10/05)

TITLE: The Forbidden Fruit


The Forbidden Fruit

The night was dry, and the sound of rustling trees waving in the wind surrounded me as I waited by the dock. The cool breeze blew my hair across my face as I stood clenching my shawl staring across the black moonlit lake. There was something in the air that made this night feel very different from all the others. My heart was pounding through my chest like a drum, and to fast to keep the rhythm. My hands began trembling as I watched over the lake to see if I could spot Eli… but I saw nothing.

My nervousness began growing stronger as I thought about the many times Eli and I would sit here by the lake talking, and I would teach him how to read and write, and he would tell me about God and all his blessing and miracles.

“You shouldn’t be hanging around so much with that…that…dirty black man Elijah!” The people in town would say. And they would stare so evil that you would think that it was the devil himself staring at you. Piercing you with cold deadly eyes.

But Elijah is anything but dirty. He is kind, and gentle. When I look into his eyes, I can see straight to his soul and know there is nothing he has to hide from me! I feel a sense of peace when I’m with him. He’s like an angel. My angel! I have fallen in love with Elijah and I am afraid! I am so afraid for him that something terrible might come upon him here!

It was now half past twelve and Eli’s not here! It’s not like him to be late. I looked out upon the lake and still I saw nothing. Oh God! “What if something has happened to him?” I thought. I began to walk the bank softly yelling “Eli..!” “Eliiiii..!” “Elijah, are you there…? Where are you Eli..?” And nothing but the splash of the water on the bank replied back to me.

Suddenly I heard a scream in the distance! I turned and ran up the hill facing towards the town! I saw an orange light glowing from the inner side of the town. Surely these where lights from lanterns and torches! I thought. As I listened, I heard yelling and ranting. I quickly began running as fast as my feet would take me towards the town for I knew in my soul they had Elijah!

Finally, I reached the town and there I saw him! The man I had knew only to be the kindest man I have ever known, who wouldn’t hurt a single person on the face of this earth tied and bound to the ground with his clothes tattered and torn. It looked as if they had drug him some distance from a horse, and now they where going to kill him! I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Stop! This man has done nothing wrong!” And the evil men that where doing this to him just laughed and continued with there brutality, saying “did you actually think you where gonna be able to get with a white women boy, and get away with it?”
“Did you think you could have forbidden fruit and not get punished?” they mockingly where yelling!

I ran towards Elijah and they held me back, Elijah looked at me from the ground bound together with sweat and blood dripping from him, and he said, “it’s ok darling…I’m going home. You where my blessing for a while, and now it’s my time to go.” “God is calling me home!” I fell to the ground and covered my face sobbing with grief as I prayed to God that he would forgive these terrible men for they know not what they do. And that was the last time I spoke with my angel, Eli.

This story is sad but was very true for many people many years ago. There are a lot of evil people in this world that need a lot of prayer! God bless everyone! Love: Ashley Brown

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This article has been read 665 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nina Phillips10/17/05
I think we all must endure through mistakes that we can't fix on our own. (he-he)Until next time around, thats how we learn. Very intense story Ashley, discriptive-I felt I was right there on the scene. Well written for a first. God bless ya and much love in Christ, littlelight
D. Phenes10/17/05
Ashly brought a tear to my eye. Sad that what was forbidden here was a society forbiddence...wow.. Truly touching
Yolanda Baker10/17/05
Yes I agree, this story is sad and true. I am glad to see we as human beings are a little better toward others with differant colour skin. I know it is still out there, yet until Jesus comes it won't ever be totally Gone. I too felt like I was there and could almost feel her heart beating as I took in your words. well done.
Denise Stanford10/17/05
Overlooking the name thing i think this is very well written. From another firsttimer well done!
Alexandra Wilkin10/18/05
Ashely, dont worry about leaving your name on this - just remember next time! This is such a touching and affecting story: very true, even sometimes today we are not as far from such prejudice as we would like to believe. Some of the sentance structure needs to be tightned up a little, but this has a very individual voice I like very much. God bless, and keep writing!
Garnet Miller 10/19/05
Unfortunately, this was the case with so many people many years ago. If God created us all, why can't we treat each other all the same? I guess this question can only be answered by the One that holds all the knowledge of this world. A powerful story.
terri tiffany10/21/05
LOL..don't worry about your name being there:) It was a powerful story. So glad you decided to jump in and post! I was once told to not use so many exclamation points..(notice I still do in my critiques..:) But other than that, you did a great job!!