The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/02/11
It is true that we are only someone through Christ.

I really liked your title. I think it would have been helpful to "show" the reader more often. For example, When Karen walked into Santa Clara High School, the other students turned their heads and looked away. I know it isn't the best example, because I struggle with this aspect of my writing also.
This brings up many interesting and important questions. While I'm sure there are many who would vehmentally disagree with me I wish we would stop using politically correct phrases like African-American, Asian- American and Mexican-American. Don't get me wrong I think ot is very important to know and celebrate your heritage and to never forget where your family comes from but if we are ever to stamp out inequality and prejudice we need to come together as one-Americans and children of God. That is what is so awesome about this country the Great Melting Pot. Remember and be proud of your heritage but together we melt into just one American. Your story will be one that pulls put many different opinions and make people stop and think. Well done and well written on a difficult topic!
06/03/11
Oh, how wonderful it would be to just be One in Christ, and leave the rest there. You are a victim of things that others have done (illegal residents) that has seemed to build a big wall against some of the nicest people on earth. Praise the Lord, in Christ there are no barriers. Great job of expressing what I am sure many suffer with every day.Great job of writing this
06/03/11
a very interesting and heartfelt story full of different emotions. this was so well written and such an important and original way of taking the theme. i hope you are a winner with this but it is one of my favorites anyay.
06/04/11
Oh, I really enjoyed this powerful story and its message!

We all want to just be accepted and loved for who we are. Isn't it a shame how prejudice just seems to exist everywhere but God truly is the great equalizer, who created all, and in His eyes there are only two kinds of people on earth where it will matter...the saved and the unsaved!!

Great job on this!!!!

Note, there is one typo in your use of “two” you may want to correct on your original in this lin: “Karen resented having two choose between two cultures”
06/04/11
Very well written story using this week's topic, plus thought provoking about issues many face today. Good job! God bless!
06/09/11
yes a winner :-) now you are moving on up into the intermediates.. we are a small group there come and enjoy
Congratulations on a well-deserved ribbon. I'm so glad this piece did well. You had a lot of good competition this week which shows how good your piece is! Can't wait to read your level 2 checkout story!
06/09/11
I am so glad your story won! It really was up at the top of my list for the Beginner category.

Congratulations.