The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/02/11
This has a wonderful prayer like quality to it. It would be visually easier to read if it had more separations,
Powerful communication. Lifted my spirit. As was mentioned would read easier if formatted differently. That plus being on topic, 'Sellout,' would make it a winner.
This is a powerful point. I know in the forums there was a warning about the difference in sellout and sold out. But you managed to bring them together quite nicely. Your writing flows and your desire to spread the love and news about Jesus stands out.
06/03/11
great writing :-)
06/04/11
With the evident rhyme throughout, this seems as if it is a poem and would have presented better in a more traditional poetic format. So much harder to read the way it is and that lessens its power.

I too think the topic of your work is more “sold out” than “sellout” (sellout when applied to a person generally denotes a betrayer or traitor)

But that being said, I really did enjoy the poem, it has a lot of vision and power and emotion and I hope to see it presented in better form to show it off!
06/06/11
Priceless truths, but a little breathless for your readers - who will benefit from your giving us a little more space to fully absorb and reflect on your invitation and to respond to your challenge. Keep writing to God's glory.