The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/26/11
Excellent writing. Scary- you penned your story for 2024 but I fear this could "come to pass" at most any time. Jesus is coming! Thanks for the story. Keep up the good work.
05/28/11
It is so sad that our own country is turning into a police state. In the need to "not offend," we end up offending the most important person of all--Christ.

Thank you for the wake up call.
06/01/11
chilling and well written. you kept the momentum going. well done
This is a great story. I was holding my breath ever since she was pulled over.

My only suggestion might be in a story this short you may want to introduce the conflict earlier. I like how you kept me holding my breath until the end but it would have been outstanding to have held it from the first paragraph.

You did a great job with the characters and dialog. You are also mastering what even the Masters struggle with and that's showing vs telling. I could easily see it unfolding.
Congratulations for ranking 10th in level one!