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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Outlandish (05/19/11)

TITLE: Dinner in Under Thirty Minutes
By Wilma Schlegel


With a few flicks of his tongue he removed the legs stuck in his teeth like so much shredded coconut. Another three or four of them would do just fine.

They tasted green, green sort of like the smell of a snapped living twig, but mildly meaty too. Sometimes there was a little bit of a bitter zing, but not always. And of course there was the accompanying crunch. When he bit down on that exoskeleton it had a not at all unpleasant crunchiness surrounding the soft insides.

When he realized he was hungry he’d absently reach into his pouch. He usually carried plenty - sometimes roasted, sometimes not. He’d twist the head off if he hadn’t already and pop them into his mouth, one after another.

Quick, efficient, pretty much mindlessly easy - that’s what his mission and lifestyle demanded. In fact, if asked to describe the flavor or any part of his food preparation, he wasn’t sure he could. He hardly noticed it anymore. The whole thing was so automatic and so unimportant to him. He didn’t do it for attention or any kind of dramatic effect - how absurd. Truly, he ate to live, not the other way around, and certainly he didn’t worry about what to eat - or wear (but let’s leave his clothes for another story).

He had little time to procure or prepare food. He had mountains and valleys to level, rough places to make smooth, a glorious road to make straight. He had announcements to make. The Messiah was come and it was his honor to introduce this greatness, this miracle, this wonder! This was the only shot that all humankind had at eternal peace, joy, salvation.

What was food to him when the Lord had given him this mission? Never would he stop until his job was done. Who in his right mind, he’d have wondered, would put the fleeting pleasure of food before the lasting satisfaction of serving the Lord?

“For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine and you say, ‘he has a demon!’ The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard! A friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by all her children.” Luke 7:33-35, (New American Standard translation)

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This article has been read 312 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lisa Fowler05/26/11
Most enjoyable! Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work.
Beth LaBuff 05/28/11
You know, I LOVE this for the topic. You can't get more oulandish than John the Baptist, the locusts, long hair. You have so much in this (all Biblical). I didn't catch on in the beginning who you were referring to (but I should have). Then with a reread, it was ALL there. I really enjoyed this!
Pam Ford Davis 05/30/11
I was clueless at the start... Very clever writing! Yes, John the Baptist had a one-track mind!
Carol Penhorwood 06/02/11
A really creative take on the topic. The beginning had me cringing...very descriptive!
Michael Throne06/02/11
This was fun. I love the beginning. Starting with something so small and insignificant, but real (and, yes, gross) was quite effective. Your transition to huge (“He had mountains and valleys to level…”) was excellent. The last paragraph was fine, but I would have preferred more of your good story. (Let them figure it out.) Well done!