The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/26/11
Thank God for your outlandish ambitious faith! Nice story. Thanks for sharing.
I enjoyed this from the title right to the end. Your characters were enchanting and the dialog realistic.

Make sure you proof it several times or have someone else proof it (you had some missing punctuation and okay should be spelled out or both letters capitalized) Also double spacing between the paragraphs gives the reader that needed white space.You also showed easily that your story was on topic, you didn't need to repeat the topic word so many times in the last paragraph. Your story stood alone on the topic and it was a nice fresh take on it.

Your message is one many of us need to bee reminded of, especially during these difficult times. God is so good to us and I liked how your character worried if she had done the right thing. There are many great messages packed in this short story.
05/29/11
I agree with Shann about proofing and spacing. This was an excellent story with great life lessons and believable characters. You have so much talent so keep writing for God's glory. Looking forward to reading more of yours. God bless!
06/02/11
lovely story. I love the first line. 'the weather was horrible and so was my mood' such a great description and i love your MC so much she is a precious person.
i love the title too which is honest. i think the writing is outstanding, I did not notice any editiorial mistakes maybe because i was engaged in the story but i do think a bit of spacing of paragraphs would help.
You clearly have a great gift for writing with humour honesty and hope.
look forward to seeing more of your contributions
Congratulations for placing 8th in level one!
You can find the top rankings on the message board on Thursday nights at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=33236