The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/26/11
Funny story! Great title. These days I actually believe there are those who think they CAN walk on water! Thanks for sharing.
05/27/11
Your story held my interest completely! That was quite a "Faith Lesson." Thanks!
05/28/11
At least in faith, he did walk off the end of the pier. I really thought you had a very good message.

If you double-spaced between the paragraphs and checked your spacing and punctuation, it would have been easier to read.

Keep up the writing.
This was a great message and I could easily picture the scene.

Next time(and there definitely should be a next time because your talent is obvious) you may want to send it on a PC and not your android. That way you'll be able to see what a difference smaller paragraphs and double spacing between them makes a difference to the reader. You also missed some little editing things like Pastors hat instead of Pastor's hat.

But I really enjoyed your passionate way of storytelling and the message is wonderful. I also like how instead of taking the easy way out by saying that proves there isn't a God, you showed the importance of having faith. Great storytelling.