The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/19/11
Some good thoughts. spelling could use a little brush-up. Sometimes it helps to let it set after the first draft and make changes when you do the final. Rearranging some of this would probably improve a little Keep at writing. You will get better and better.
This is an interesting story with a nice message.

It is absolutely vital to proofread your entry or better yet let someone else proof it for you. The errors made it difficult to read.

You have a nice story here and it would be sad if people stopped reading because it needed to be proofread.

Keep writing, like the MC in your story, if you don't give up you will reap great rewards. Fixing spelling errors is the easy part of writing, you managed to come up with a nice story, which is the hard part.
05/23/11
ahhh such a cute story :-) I like the fact that you took the POSITIVE aspects of social media and the internet as so many articles look at the dangers and problems.It was like a drop out drops in :-) The title is perfect!
05/24/11
This was a cute story. I would echo the other comments. Keep writing.
05/25/11
Good moral to the story. This was such a tender story, but I also had a difficult time reading it.

Proof reading and a good spell checker would have helped a lot, but with some practice and time I can see you developing into a good writer.