The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/17/05
Oh, how sad!

You've set the scene beautifully! I could see the run-down house, and could taste Charlie's stolen treats. But how desperately sad ... and yet that's life. Life doesn't always have happy endings, eh?

This is a well-written piece - good job!
10/17/05
I agree with the other comment.. this story is sad but true howlife can and does go for some poeple... I can see you contiuing this story and show how this could effect charlie later in life. well done
As adults we know it's not Charlie's fault - but children see things differently and you've captured this well in your piece. You've done a great job setting the scene. Interesting read. Well done.
10/19/05
Good job! Appreciated Charlie's perspective. The open ending also lends interesting tension. The only constructive comment from me would be to watch puncuation & spacing...I know it can be tricky though to post in the plain text format--been there! Excellent story!
10/21/05
Boo hoo! This was so sad. I would love to read more and how he came to realize it wasn't his fault! Very nice descriptive language. I could see everything!
10/21/05
That's so sad. As children we often misunderstand things and come to the wrong conclusions. Unfortunately, this misunderstanding could scar Charlie for life. Thanks for sharing this precious story:)
10/23/05
This poor boy. I hope that someone helps him understand that he was not to blame, perhaps in a 'sequel.' Bring him back some time.
Excellent writing and a great message. Sin has consequences and we don't always have time to say "sorry." Very well done.