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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Blowout (04/28/11)

TITLE: Saint Margaret
By
05/04/11


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The drug store test came back positive. She would need to make an appointment now with her doctor to get an official reading. The next eight months or so would be spent at the doctorís office, waiting patiently to see the growth of this new person that was developing and being created before her very eyes and ears. She couldnít hear anything yet. It was silent.

Food never tasted so good. The raspberry pie, the spaghetti piled high, and the roast with potatoes she craved. She didnít heed the warnings to keep exercising and to control her food consumption. It was a dazed explosion of feasting.

Her friends noticed her and snickered behind her back. They didnít want to offend her, but she obviously was on a crash course to disaster. Her husband was so busy with work he didnít notice her binge either. The doctor was helpless as he tried to steer her towards something healthier. She couldnít hear anything. The voices around her were silent, as she kept a vigil watch over a belly protruding from herself. It didnít seem to be a part of her. It was foreign and so the food kept passing through her mouth, nourishing the child inside.

From a distance the cry traveled. The first word echoed inside her head like a canyon valley. Her limbs drooped from her sides and flailed in the air as she tried to grasp the body of the little girl. Her anxious heart beat faster than she had anticipated. They rushed her to the emergency room, leaving daddy watching momma being rolled away to surgery. Her heart was failing.

Days turned into months and as the child grew, she looked more like her momma every day. Daddy was proud of the childís beauty and strength, her wisdom and loving devotion to her Heavenly Father. He knew her momma would have too.


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This article has been read 141 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 05/08/11
Some very good descriptions in this piece.

I got a bit lost in exactly what happened in a couple places, but it could just be me.

Thanks for sharing this!
Sunny Loomis 05/10/11
Good work! Sad ending, but glad the child knew God. Thank you.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/10/11
This is a start of a really good story. You had quite a few words left and it would have been quite dramatic if you had shown the doctors trying to revive her and the husband mourning. Don't be afraid to take the reader on an intense ride. I give you a great deal of credit for coming up with a very creative idea for the topic.It had many layers to it. That shows you have a great imagination! Keep writing-
diana kay05/11/11
so great writing here. I not sure how the title relates but i can see that the content was bang on the theme and the ending unexpected.