The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/08/11
Some very good descriptions in this piece.

I got a bit lost in exactly what happened in a couple places, but it could just be me.

Thanks for sharing this!
05/10/11
Good work! Sad ending, but glad the child knew God. Thank you.
This is a start of a really good story. You had quite a few words left and it would have been quite dramatic if you had shown the doctors trying to revive her and the husband mourning. Don't be afraid to take the reader on an intense ride. I give you a great deal of credit for coming up with a very creative idea for the topic.It had many layers to it. That shows you have a great imagination! Keep writing-
05/11/11
so great writing here. I not sure how the title relates but i can see that the content was bang on the theme and the ending unexpected.