The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 374 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/28/11
This entry is this week's randomly chosen winner of our weekly bonus prize--a free Ratings Feedback report. The author will be contacted today via the Private Messenger service with more information.

Congratulations. :-)

Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Your article, to me, shows that we need to take time to slow down and meditate on what is around us. Not only do we need to look, but listen - and the Holy Spirit will reveal what is hidden. And, once done, we understand it was really never hidden at all as it was always a part of us from the beginning.
This is a sweet story. congratulations on winning the review if you accept it you'll really see your writing in A new light. I enjoyed the characters and the double meaning of an Easter egg.

I did notice in the sentence describing Tommy, you left out a few commas that could really change the meaning of the sentence, you have:f her precocious peach-color-fine-haired nephew Tommy's growing

Now I did figure out on my own that it was Tommy who was precocious and not his hair but if you used a word like wild the meaning could be confusing.

But you show your passion in your writing and I can feel the love and admiration the MC has for Tommy. Keep writing you're doing a fine job.
Your main character was very likeable. I could identify with her propensity for rhyming.
I am sure itís just me but I felt like I got lost on the Easter egg hunt with this story. Lovely use and command of words, to be sure, but with the poetry interspersed, I lost track of the gist of the story. It just didnít flow for me. But again, Iím pretty sure itís just me. :-)