One day while I was at home sitting at the computer, I got a sudden craving for a banana. I checked my watch, one-thirty, the store would definitely be open. So, I threw on my jacket and strolled over to one of the local grocery store to buy myself a bunch of bananas.
When I got there, I headed straight for the produce section, but after a thorough search of the area, I realized that there were no bananas there! No bananas? What was I going to do? Well, perhaps they just hadn't put them out yet. I approached one of the cashiers and asked her if they had any. She shrugged.
"Probably not." I don't think she really cared about my dilemma, she was too busy fiddling with her fingernails.
"Oh, Herb, what are you doing here?" I felt a finger tapping me on the shoulder. Turning around, I came face to face with an elderly lady. My name was certainly not Herb.
"Sorry, ma'am, you must have me confused with someone else." I apologized.
"Herb, you're always playing games. You can't fool an ol' gal like me." My puzzled look had no effect on this woman's belief that I was 'Herb'.
"Ma'am, again, I'm sorry, but I'm not Herb." I think she might have gotten it that time, either that or her senility had tricked her once more. She had passed her attention from me to the latest Chatelaine magazine.
"I was beautiful like that once." I heard her murmur as I walked away.
I tried to remember what I had come to the store for. Maybe that woman's forgetfulness had rubbed off on me. Bananas! That's right. There were none here. I'd try the next store.
On my way to my new destination, I spotted an elderly man barely grasping on to his grocery bag as he slowly sauntered to his car. Rushing to his aid, I quickly grabbed the bag from him and as I turned towards his car, I felt a soft blow to my back. I turned again to the man.
"You ruffians never leave me alone! Those are my groceries and I just bought them! Why are you stealing from an old man like me? I don't hardly have a penny to my name!"
"Sir..." I tried to explain, but he hit me once more.
"Give me back my groceries or I'll call the cops on you!" Not wanting to cause a scene, I quickly handed the groceries back to the gentleman.
"A good deed gets you no where these days." I mumbled and returned to the sidewalk.
Finally, I made it to the grocer. Once inside, I again headed to the produce section. It was quite small, and in my brief search I didn't even manage to find one banana. How was that for luck? I was still craving a banana, but I figured I might as well buy something, since I had already spent all this time looking.
Off to the ice cream section I went and I picked out a drumstick. Throwing just enough change down on the counter, I headed home.
Eating my newly purchased drumstick, I sat down at the computer. A thought came to me and I laughed. Boy, that was a fruitless trip!
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