The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/17/05
The feelings behind this article are expressed well. I would try to break the two long paragraphs up to make this a little easier to read. Watch runon sentences. Linking the supposed lies of a spouse to the supposed lies of the tree salesman was very good. Then you showed that maybe there was hope for both tree and marriage. Good!
The feeling behind this is beautifully expressed; the balance is very good too - I really like the 'new hope budding' on the apple tree. The editing does need some tightening: e.g, "...I laugh out loud, and I wonder - what else is new?".(Watch "wonder/wander") and the paragraphs have been mentioned. Keep writing - huge promise in this! God bless.
10/17/05
I agree with the other comments. Hope should always be within our hearts for the future and whatever it brings.
Oh well done this could have been very confusing but you kept it clear and evenly paced. Your writing stirred clear images and emotions always a good sign I think...
10/17/05
This was a excellent story-well balenced. Only, I am with the others about the paragraph spacing which would make this a very pleasant read. God bless ya, littlelight
10/18/05
Great comparative essay, however, break up the paragraph into normal thought sections, if for no other reason than to improve readability. Thanks for the interesting essay.
10/18/05
I loved the comparison of the apple tree and the woman's marriage. A well written article.
10/19/05
I too love the comparison of the tree and the marriage. Sometimes greater care is needed to make both grow. I've learned that firsthand on both accounts! Thank you for your article!