The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 406 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/14/11
This was a delight to read. My sister lived in Belgium a bit ago for about a year and they didn't eat any beef. It's easy to be isolated in the States. I liked how your story educated me without being preachy. And I loved that a "stupid American" could be both wise and courageous. Nicely done!
04/14/11
Nice story. I spotted a couple of expressions in your American character's dialog that sound more like British-isms to my own American ears, but otherwise I think it's well written.
04/14/11
This is a wonderful story! I learned something AND enjoyed the read. Don't feel that you have to "wrap every thing up" at the end. You could cut the last three paragraphs and let the reader figure out the response, for example. I'm glad I chose this entry to read - great job with this topic!
04/14/11
I like the unique idea you wrote about, and how a simple matter of letting a dog roam free could have serious consequences. It was definitely educational.
It almost seems too happy though, as well as a lot of the dialog being very scripted. It had a nice flow to it, and you did a good job at positioning the characters. I think a lot of information can be passed in what is unsaid, so you don't necessarily need to spell everything out.
04/23/11
I agree with Kara's comments. This is a unique story and I liked the perspective you chose for the narrative. Try to work on showing rather than telling and don't feel like you need to explain everything in your writing.