The scream could be heard all over the house and probably next door. Amanda came running out of the bathroom and shoved her hair brush into her startled mother’s face. The brush revealed clumps of Amanda’s hair.
“Three long years. It has been three long years. Why now, mommy? Why again?”
With pulsing convulsions of tears Amanda sank into her mother’s arms. Her sobbing would not cease. All Loraine could do was hold her and cry with her.
Three years ago Amanda was diagnosed with a very rare form of leukemia. For three years fourteen year-old Amanda battled the cancer. And now they were so close to the end. Only one more “mild” treatment to go – after this recent spinal infusion.
The spinal infusion produced side effects unlike those of normal chemotherapy. Migraine headaches were common. Violent vomiting. Dizziness. But no outbreak of hair loss – until now.
Twice before Amanda had endured total hair loss. Middle school kids can be so cruel. How many times had boys and even two girls ripped her hat from her head. During the second hair loss Amanda bravely went to school for eight agonizing days until she could take it no more.
“I’m not going to school this time, mommy,” she sobbed.
“I know honey, but you are so far behind.”
Wrenching herself out of Lorraine’s arms, Amanda ran to her bedroom screaming, “I’m not going. I’m not going.” The slamming door rattled the whole house.
Emotionally wrung out, Lorraine sunk down onto the living room couch. “Lord, you cannot let this happen again. It’s not fair Lord. She has been through so much and we are so close to the end.”
Digging her fingernails into the leather surface of the couch, “Not again, Lord! Not again!”
Lorraine stared at the ceiling wishing she could peer through to God. “How can this be, God? You send me to Russia. And you use me in spectacular ways. You use me to mend broken hearts. I lay hands on sick people and they are healed. And the one that really makes me mad, God, is the fourteen year old Russian girl, Natasha, that was healed of leukemia immediately. Yet, you won’t heal my Amanda! Why, Lord? Why!”
Burying her face in the couch Lorraine sobbed, “Please heal my Amanda! Please!”
Someone touched her shoulder. Raising her tear soaked head a man stood next to her. Lorraine had never seen such a kind face before. His touch was gentle but firm.
“I have heard the cry of your heart. I have heard the cry of Amanda’s heart. I am working a deep work in Amanda’s life. What you see in Amanda is but a glimmer of what she will be because of what I am doing in her heart. Just as Samuel looked at the outward appearance, I selected David for his heart. But David’s heart was not changed overnight. I molded David’s heart through years of testing and trial. So it is with Amanda. I could have healed her just as I healed Natasha in Russia.”
With that gentle but firm touch He concluded, “Your heart is in agony now and so is Amanda’s. Trust Me and you will see the Glory of God.”
And then He was gone.
Stunned, Lorraine looked at her hands which were shaking uncontrollably. She could not move. Suddenly, all the tension in her body was released and she sank back into the couch, exhausted but overcome with a peace she had never felt before.
Lorraine looked up and saw a tear stained Amanda approaching. “It’s going to be alright, mommy. God told me it’s going to be alright. He came to my room and touched me and said, ‘I am with you and will never leave you. Now go and give your mother a big hug. She needs you now.’ And then he was gone.
“Oh, mommy he was so gentle and kind.”
Reaching for her mommy’s hand and pulling her close Amanda whispered, “His touch. His touch was so kind, so gentle. I will never forget His touch.”
And Amanda passed that touch to her mother that afternoon.
Two months later after all their guests at the “Cancer Free” open house had left Amanda walked over to her mother and gave her a big hug.
“Do you remember our hug that day, mommy?”
“I could never forget it, sweetie.”
Tears flowed again as they remembered that day and rejoiced in Amanda being cancer free.
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