The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/14/11
Well written drama. Excellent descriptions. The only thing I would have changed is the sentences about having PTSD and the doctor's diagnosis. I think you painted such a wonderful picture, that those two sentences weren't necessary.
04/20/11
It's so sad to see all the after effects of war. Well portrayed.
A compelling story, good descriptions and dramatic scenes. I did have a little trouble following who was experiencing what. Also the changes of present and past tense threw me off a bit.