The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/14/11
You have quite a flair for dramatic language! Interesting concept.
04/20/11
some very dramatic writing here. i liked the descriptions but for some reason it seemed like a series of sentences rather than flowing together. I am not an expert at all and so cannot say why it felt like that. maybe some linking words are needed.
do keep writing as i think there is much potential
Lots of great descriptions! Good command of language. Youíve brought up a concept that is important to teach and understand. I think a personalized story would have more impact on the reader. More showing, rather than telling.
You used vivid descriptions that helped me see the hate that caused the church to burn, But if they couldn't kill Jesus, burning a church won't destroy him either. Maybe showing how it affected you might help you connect with more readers. You have a lotof talent and your passion for God is clear. Keep writing.
04/20/11
Excellently written. I could picture it all. Good job.