The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You painted a very vivid picture of what children in rough communities go through. I commend you for your effort. However, somewhere along the way, you lost me at how this atory pertains to the "Eternity" theme.

Remember the title of the story automatically apprears above the story so you do not have to repeat it in line one. You never know when you may need those two words in your word count.
a dramatic title! i found the content challenging but found it a bit hard to engage with the characters. i also found the relation to the theme of eternity a little unclear. you tackle a tough subject with determination and i look forward to reading more of your writings
I really liked how the students became the heroes in the story. It would have been even better of a student stood up for the bus driver with a Two wrongs don't make aright speech but in a less cliché way.
I have to commend you on writing about an intercity school. This senerio plays out in schools across America.

I believe the theme about eternity comes about through the destiny of the characters. Very catchy title.

This was simply a brilliant entry. I enjoyed it so much and it was on topic. Very ingenious--Great job! God Bless~