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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Eternity (03/10/11)

TITLE: A Time to Face Eternity
By Lu-Yee Millar
03/16/11


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The woman moaned in agony as her body contorted against her wishes. Every minute now, she told herself, the suffering would end. Hardly had she the time to take a fresh breath when contractions struck again, causing her body to arch as every muscle in her labored to deliver the new life…

On a nearby hill a little creature huddled against the great Elm.

“Huuuuh…..” came a sigh from his depths. But the silence he anticipated was not to be.

“That bad huh?” said the unexpected company.

The creature sprang to his feet.

“Identify yourself at once!” he commanded, hoping to establish some authority. The light laughter in return did not amuse him one iota.

“And besides…it’s not polite to interrupt one’s solitude!” He added, as he traced the echo of the laughter upwards…right to the top of the tree.

There – perched effortlessly, was a stunning, beautiful creature with long shimmering silver hair as if it had been bathed in glitter. She wore a silky robe with its train looping gracefully over several branches. It formed a sheltering canopy for a few sleepy, fury animals.

“Shhh….” She said waving her finger, “don’t wake my friends up. Why are you upset? And the name’s Eternity!”

“You’re...The Eternity? Oh gosh! Forgive me, my Lord,” the creature gasped as he cowered to his knees. “Your servant’s name is Time.”

Eternity smiled warmly. Like a skilled trapeze artist she glided down from above, swooping her fury friends in her palms in the process.

“Ah! None of this. We are cousins, are we not?” She nudged him to get up. “The Perfect One made us both – Time and Eternity. Far be it that I should rob Him of glory – it belongs to Him alone!”

A faded recollection of The Perfect One caused Time to stand still momentarily. Still, even the weakest memory of Him almost drew out a smile. Almost. If he had not glanced into Eternity’s mirror-like eyes, and saw his own reflection. Worn. Pathetic. Ugly.

“Well then Eternity, you must have had an easy life since Adam’s Seed came onto the scene!” He mocked. “Some of us are not so lucky! Some of us have to deal with those ungrateful human beings whilst others…others just perch up high and enjoy life….”

“Now now,” Eternity probed, “just what is the matter?”

“What IS the matter? What ISN’T the matter with Adam’s Seed!” Time snapped. “I’m through with them all. Day after day I am used and squandered like rubbish. Day after day, I’m being told that there’s too much of me whilst others complain that there’s never enough of me. Some even curse me for being there at all and seek ways to end my stay prematurely…”

He paused. “Ah what’s the point? You wouldn’t understand!” His rambling trailed off like a deflating balloon.

“Oh but I do.” Eternity said plainly.

Time’s brows tilted inquisitively.

“At least they acknowledge you," continued Eternity. "How many of Adam’s Seed remember me or live their lives as if I count in the end? I assure you, my dear cousin, I have been most blatantly ignored, shoved to the side, and…even discounted as simply a myth! It makes them feel better this way - my name reminds them of their mortality, and it cuts to their core.”

“Then,” still not fathoming, “does it not pain you?”

Kneeling down, Eternity gave her fury friends a slight prod to go on their way. She stood up again, and turned Time towards the direction of a certain cave….

“Hear that woman in agony of child birth?” she asked. And when Time didn’t reply, she continued.

“Therein lies my hope. Soon a child will be born who will be the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.“

Eyes lit up, Time turned to face Eternity, “and we…we’re part of his plan?”

Eternity nodded. “And He shall restore all things to Himself, Time and Eternity included. We shall come alive again with Him! AND dance with Him…just as we did at the very beginning.”

Waves of contractions intensified, the woman gathered every ounce of energy in her for the final push...and before long an infant’s cry echoed through the hills. The New Creation entered the world, bringing with Him renewed hope for all – for Adam’s Seed and for Creation who have waited in groaning hitherto.

Eternity beamed.


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This article has been read 402 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Bonnie Bowden03/18/11
Captivating story. You've captured the essence of Time and Eternity perfectly. Definitely my favorite read so far. I hope this story is recognized in some way.
Suzanne R03/19/11
Fun - yet with an element of depth at the same time. I love the long flowing glittery hair of Eternity and the tired shrivelled little creature of Time. Beautiful descriptions. Excellent writing.
diana kay03/20/11
clever story. I like it even though this type of allegory/fantasy is not usually on my personal preference list list, this is a good and entrancing one and a very clever take on the eternity/time theme
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/21/11
What a brilliant and imaginative way to portray Eternity and Time. This is a fresh,original take on the topic and an out of the box seems like a winner to me.
diana kay03/24/11
well done on a well deserved first place!
Bonnie Bowden03/24/11
So happy that you won 1st place in beginner and also were an EC Challenge winner.

Your writing was superb!
Allison Egley 03/24/11
Oh wow! This was very, very good. So creative. Congratulations!
Missy Hendren03/26/11
What a beautiful story! It was so hopeful and light hearted and refreshing. You imagery was beautiful and your promise of The New King left me my heart so happy! What a great way to start my day! Thank you!
Margaret Kearley 03/26/11
Wow, this is just so good. An excellent dialogue between Time and Eternity, 'both made by The Perfect One'. Just excellent writing and well deserving of first place. Congratulations and thank you for such a wonderful story. (Just one thing, is 'fury friends' meant to be 'furry friends'? - I guess so.)
Suzanne R03/28/11
Lu-Yee ... you won!!!! First prize in your level and eighth overall ... out of over 100 entries!!!!! Not a surprise, but very exciting just the same. I'd like to world to know, please, that I'm Lu-Yee's friend and read her writing ALL the time ... but sadly, mostly just work emails. Hope to read much more interesting stuff in the future with your writing adventures (not just emails), Lu-Yee.
Charla Diehl 04/01/11
Because of your creativity, your MC's came alive to your readers. I love how you portrayed Eternity and Time, and then wove the birth of Jesus into the scene so effortlessly. Beautiful and well deserved wins. I feel this quality of writing is way beyond level one. I'm clapping for you on both wins.
Louis Edwards06/18/11
That was an aw-some story. Well written like a master craftsman. The essence of the story would provoke one to think about his or her preparation for life's future. I'm new to Faith Writers and like the site.