The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/04/11
This piece was tight, and you did an awesome job using dialogue to progress your story. The gossiping was a nice touch too, for added grief to a real Christian life situation.
03/04/11
It is sad, how some people thrive on the unhappiness of others.

I bet the shawl was beautiful.
03/05/11
clever story and so many levels, the lovely relationship between grandma and child and the crochet and the gossip all time consuming in their own way.
03/06/11
I love your concept here. Some of the dialogue felt a little stilted - try reading it out loud to see if it flows like a normal conversation. Really great idea for this topic.
03/13/11
Ok, . . . no descriptives, no strong characterization, no moving storyboard . . . but, the dialogue brought me there, and made me listen, and come away from it all, with heart comforted by the visit. Oh, you know how to write alright . . . most certainly, you do. Keeping the dialogue, but adding more adjectives and adverbs . . . you know what I am saying . . . is going to put color to the canvass, and bring out brightly, the outline your dialogue has so deftly drawn.