The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/11/05
We all must ask forgiveness for allowing ourselves to be distracted by things that are "not worth our time". Thank you for sharing this story:)
10/12/05
It is never too late to ask for forgiveness as your story shows us. It frees us from pain and heartache and opens our eyes to what the Lord wants us to do. Thanks for sharing.
10/12/05
This is well-written, but it left me wanting more background. What had he done? I suppose keeping it like this makes it possible for everyone to relate, but I was yearning for more specifics. You definitely can write!
What are they feeding teens these days? Man, I could never write like that when I was in high school!
10/13/05
Ah, if we would all remember and come back to our 'first love.' Good message, offering hope. Good job!
I likd that this was in essence a devotional disguised as a short story. It had more impact that way. I think some of the tenses change - but overall a well written piece. Keep writing.
10/14/05
I agree - a devotional story! Good job conveying its message!
10/15/05
Good job! Yep, I agree with the above comments - a great devotional piece.
10/15/05
Well written story that helps the reader put things in their tight perspective. So sad that we can be so stubborn and life falls apart around us before we get the proverbial picture. Well done. Yeggy
I agree with all the above--very effective story. Have you considered giving your character a name? Well done.