The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/22/11
I really felt for Daniel. When someone takes their own life, no matter how well you knew them you wonder how you missed the signs. I'm glad this story had a happy ending for Daniel.
There's never a reasonable answer for suicide. As someone who has attempted it in the past, I know my mind wasn't capable of thinking rationally. I truly thought people would be grateful that I was gone. I'm so blessed that Jesus saved me. You had a great message.

I think your story would have an even greater impact if you moved the first paragraph down into the body and started the story with your son walking in the room. Also remember to double-space between paragraphs to give the reader the much needed white space.

All in all, a great job and message on a very difficult topic.
01/24/11
a great powerful and well written piece dealing with a difficult and emotional subject in a sensitive way through the eyes of a mother seeing the impact on her son.
It tugged the heartstrings without being over sensational or contrived.
Congratulations for ranking 9th among level one entries!