The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 600 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/11/05
I like it, But I saw food in the bottom part and it didn't correspond to the top, because there was no mentioning of 'food'. Nice relationships though.
10/11/05
I really like your take on this. The top part reads like poetry - might I suggest breaking it up to look more like free verse, rather than paragraphs? The parallels at the bottom are beautiful! Great job on this!
10/12/05
This is nice; it's just a very unusual format. Maybe alternate each parallel: flowers, Jesus, flowers, Jesus, etc. so your readers don't have to refer back to the top to see what the parallel is. Well-thought through. I'd like to see more of "you" in the bottom part; you're obviously a good writer.
I really enjoyed this. I'd have to disagree with Ms. Brenton, as there is correlation between the two in regards to food. I like the concept. Thanks for sharing!